Update

Well, so many things have happened since the last time that I posted. I have a new computer. It is a Toshiba net book and I am so happy with it. It was a blessing to be able to get it. It was an anonymous gift! Praise the Lord!

I have moved from the apartment in New Bedford where I was staying temporarily into my brother and sister-in-law's basement for the time being. I am hoping to be able to go and stay at my cottage in Marion, but that would be another expense that I really can't afford at the moment.

I am still in search of a job for the time being. I have made some inquiries, but it seems as if the job market is opening up jut a bit so I will be on the hunt once again.

yes, I am still going to the Philippines, but the timing is just not quite right yet, so I will be waiting for God's perfect timing. I am still waiting on information about an internship which will put me in a Philippine community in either Florida or California. We shall see what the lord has in store.

Until then, I am just taking it one day at a time!

Here I Am Again!

Well, it has been a while since I was able to be on a computer.......Here I Am Again!
I am taking some classes through BILD International called Antioch School. There are large binders that have coursework, theological readings, issue questions, and projects. We meet once a month for discussion of our papers and the Socratic discussion questions. I have completed book one which was Acts. It brought us through the book of Acts having us study what it was like to be a Christian in that time and also what the "church" looked like. the second book was Pauline Epistles. We studied all of Paul's writings and what did Paul do to build and maintain disciples and the church community. The third book is called Essentials, which I am in now, and we are studying the Scriptures to find out what should be the foundations of any "church".
This has opened up so many things in my heart and mind. How do I continue to move forward with all God has been teaching me and changing in me? Instead of stressing about it, I just have to give it over to Him and let Him continue to do what He wants to do in my life.
So now I am excited about finishing this binder instead of the dread I previously had about it.
It's amazing what a little trust and faith can do!

Just A Little Sleep......Finally!

I must start by saying that I have had serveral nights of nearly perfect sleeping! Before this great stretch of sleep, I was concerning about my sleeping "issue". I was using an over-the-counter sleep aid. (I haven't used it in about 20 days. If I can bearly afford food I can't see buying that.) My sleeping was bad since I hadn't used it. I was thinking about having to use the sleep aid in the Philippines. How much could I bring with me? Do they have it there? Would I have to have someone send it to me? I knew I needed to sort this out. In my previous blog I seem to have pinpointed the problem. So now I will continue to work on improving the sleeping and upkeeping what makes it work. I am very excited that this sleeping issue has been worked out. I had a hard time accepting that I didn't like being alone. Don't get me wrong, I need some solitude once in a while, but I just made myself deal with being alone. It was easier to deal with that then it was to deal with the real isue behind it. I am also glad that since I can deal with it and I am dealing with it that means that the changes the Lord has been making are really working, but more importantly, I am not tring to inhibit the process! Being who God designed me to be is much easier than working so hard to keep being the person I thought people wanted me to be! Praise the Lord!

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day! One of those days that when people are excited or not. There have been many interesting posts and comments on Facebook today expressing those very thoughts. One was commenting on the request to post the picture of yourself and your significant other/spouse.....this person was glad that they had changed their profile picture the previous day.....to a plate of cookies....I laughed so much! Another one was a post about being single on Valentine's Day and being okay with it and that they are secure in their singleness....I totally appreciated that from such a young woman. There were sweet posts of songs played at weddings and songs from special moments. One of my favorites was quite simple: (but you have to know them to know how absolutely true it is) I met my husband at church and we have been married for 19 years. I am blessed!
I received an unexpected Valentine today. It was from Scott, my ex-fiance. I was apprehensive to open it because we have struggled a bit to keep "being friends" even after the break-up. Mostly because I needed to move on and he was sure I was going to change my mind and really wanted to persuade me. This saddened me because I really wanted to move past all of that and be friends. We were great friends. We talked, we laughed, and we liked being in each others company.
He is a wonderful, Godly man. He just has some beliefs that I just wouldn't live with. Believe me, I tried to do it and I was willing to do it on a permanent basis. I know now that I had friends who were praying for me and a few who were willing to tell me that I really needed to re-evaluate this whole thing.
When Scott and I met, it was the most amazing experience. Everything I could have ever wanted and everything I ever expected was part of that time. We believed very strongly in courtship and loved it. I could hardly believe that this was happening to me. I felt so blessed that I had honored God with my life and this was my reward. Things were great! We were engaged with 1 month!
Then I realized that there were rules to follow. I even started writing them down so I could refresh my memory before we went anywhere. My hardest was not being able to speak in a conversation unless I was addressed to be part of the conversation. He knew me. He saw me interact with people.
Later on in the relationship I worked very hard at being who he wanted me to be. People noticed and that is when many friends became concerned. One day we were together and there was an incident. I had spoken into a conversation without being addressed into it. Scott called me over to discuss it and stated what my position should have been. He finished and there was a silence. For the first time I said to him, "What if I don't want to?" He was so surprised.
I can do anything. I can make anything work. I can do whatever it takes to make things happen. I wanted so much for this to work. I loved everything else about our relationship. God had to show me that I was responsible to Him first. That type of life was not going to bring honor and glory to God. It would only bring me unhappiness because I wasn't following the path that god had for me.
Looking back, I can see how God used that entire situation to teach me some wonderful things about myself and about God. He also used that time to open my heart and mind up in ways that were previously not possible.
Because God was in it, I have been able to share that story with a few women as a way to let them know about God's amazing love. How "God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.
Things between us are much better as evidenced by my surprise valentine card. I took some time to thank the Lord for doing amazing and wonderful things.
I will be calling Scott tonight to thank him for the card and his kind words. It is a beautiful "For A Special Friend" card. The words were wonderful and his note tremendous. I think it will be one of the best phone calls we have had in a very long time. Thank you, Lord!
(Oh, by the way, I slept quite well last night. Spent the day today with my nephews making Valentines at Charlie & Mel's. Looks like another great night of sleeping! :) )

The things You Don't Think Of Until You Have Time To Think

For those of you who do not know me, I think a lot! Sometimes about really obscure random things, but the "quirk" for me is.....I try to find out about it. this has caused me to be a wealth of useless information and when I say useless, I mean useless. For example, a friend of Facebook posed the question, "Why don't we eat turkey eggs?". Well, Miss W.O.U.I. was able to answer because I saw a show about it late at night on a weird channel. I know the measurements of many seemingly simple household objects because I am a terribly inept spacial person. I have to know the approximate measures to know if something will fit somewhere and not just furniture in a room. things like packing a box, fitting items in the cabinets or on a shelf. Weird, I know. So I use these everyday objects to plan out where things fit instead of constant rearranging. A brand new Ticonderoga #2 green issue pencil is exactly 7.5". An unused standard crayon is 3.5". My index finger is 3". The small square plate I sometimes use to put a candle on is exactly 6 3/4". My orange handle Fiskar scissors are 8". A standard kitchen butter knife is 8.5". I could go on and on, but I need those things to help me see things more concretely.
Funny story....when I moved to Charlton, MA in August of 2004, I had a small room in an apartment that I shared with a friend. I had to sit in my room to look and decide where things should go. I dread this because I have to move everything to where I want it and then if I need to change it, I have to move things. I have a hard time visualizing in that area of my life. So I called my brother, Jeff. He is the master of space. Not just because he wished that he could be Darth Vader, but because he can just do it. It must be the artsy side of his brain. Basically, after talking on the phone for a little and sending a picture or two......he advised me as to the best layout for the room. Before hanging up I got him to talk me through how to set up my TV, DVD, and VCR (yes, I still have one) so that I could just pop in a VHS tape and everything would just work. This story is absolutely true. Sad, I know, but none the less true!
Getting back to my original title and reason for this blog.......thinking!
I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house this weekend because they went away to Universal Studios in Florida. I was home most of the day Friday by myself and of course was thinking. My other aunt came home from work. We had supper, talked, and started watching a movie. Later that night my cousin, Shawn, came home from work and the gym. I talked his ear off until like after midnight with just plain dumb conversation. So, I am home alone on Saturday. I got up and did some things and was checking Facebook when I realized that I felt pretty good and I slept well. so, that random thought began my analyzing of why did I feel this way? I was a little surprised at the answer......I slept better and felt better because......dare I say it............I interacted with other people!!!!!
For almost 4 years now I have been taking an over-the-counter sleep aid. I realized that I was not sleeping well when I accidentally took Tylenol PM one night and felt great when I woke up. I haven't had a steady job since August of 2010, (that is another blog)I have moved twice, and my life has kinda been crazy. I haven't been sleeping that well even with the pills. I had been going to bed between 11pm and 12pm, having a hard time falling asleep, then waking up around 2am or 3am to go to the bathroom, which I hardly ever do, and then sleep really well from 5am to 9am. This pattern made me crazy.
As I analyzed it, I went to my journal to study my thoughts and feelings. I saw a little pattern. The days that I had spend with people, I felt better and slept better. I did not use any sleep pills this weekend and I felt great!
The Sandy Bergeron official analysis of the situation: I am a better and dare I say healthier person when I am around people? Yes! Well, whaddayaknow.........
I guess when I digest this I can talk about it some more.
Right now I am getting ready to go to Jeff's and then Charlie & Mel's.
I guess it will be a good night for sleeping.

This is the beginning!

I was thinking the other day that so may people are interested in what is going on in my life. not because I think I am so popular, but because they care. For those of you who know me I know you are rereading that sentence over again for at least the third or fourth time.
I was Facebooking a friend today in response to his message and it made me realize something very simple, but something worth me remembering.....it is my privilege to pray for my friends and the things that are going on in their lives! As I ended our correspondence, the Lord and I had a little time alone. He reminded me that by not letting the people in my life who care about me know what is going on in my life, I am robbing them of the privilege of bringing my requests before the Throne of Grace. I had to confront the fact that I can tell so many about how precious they are to God, but when it comes down to me.....well, it's more like...okay sure. That is not how my Heavenly Father looks at me! he sees me for the woman of God He created me to be and loves me so much that he wants me to live that way!
I attend a women's retreat in Alton Bay, New Hampshire in September each year sponsored by the Women's Home & Foreign Missions Society/Women's Ministries of the Eastern Region. this past year's theme was "W.O.W: Women Of Worth. As part of our time together, we all received gold or silver crowns to remind us that we are princesses. I have that crown in my living room right where I can see it. I look at it every day. I think I will be taking a closer, longer look at that crown each day. It reminds me of my adopted status. Not because I could ever earn it, but because Jesus paid the highest price for me to be able to wear it! He did so willingly. That is my reminder......I will live my life willingly as a daughter of the King! That is how I stay on the path following God's will.
I make no claims to be a writer. I make no claims to even be interesting. I am writing this so God can teach me more and more about myself and Him as we journey together.